La Pink One on Self Defense: We don't condone violence against children, women, elders or any other innocent law abiding citizens under any circumstances but let's face it, aside from all that the world we live in calls for some sort of karate skills or sharp ass knives every now and then.

The recession hit everyone and if you're too broke to go out and buy yourself the latest and greatest in self defense weapons OR you just wanna feel like a savage we're gonna guide you through the easy steps to create one of the greatest survival tools man has ever known. I'm obviously talking about the "You Better Be Coo Stick." It lets the aggressor know he "better be coo" or he's about to feel pain the likes of which he's never even imagined.

Start off by finding an empty plastic bottle.



go ahead and fill a quarter of your bottle up with water and find yourself some concrete mix



get yourself a nifty funnel and pour the concrete mix into the bottle or be a savage and do it without the funnel like Mike so you can spill a bunch of it and shit



go ahead and let the concrete mix soak up that water and make sure you're gettin your grown man on with your nice shirt and tie because this isn't for kids.. unless you're a kid who has access to all this cool stuff then by all means go for it



find a lead pipe and put it in the bottle and let it sit for a few days. Maybe by the end of the week it'll dry and we'll try it out on some child molestors or rapists.

One time for the Bay Area.

I went to AJ's birthday party today. The theme was "The Room" At first I didn't really see how that was the theme since all I saw was a few screenshots from the movie and some of these crummy posters



until I saw the framed spoon



classic.



Anytime we get together we gotta bump the anthem ten times:



Adrian pointed out that Soulja Boy's buddy looks like a hungry Marshawn Lynch.



The party was catered by the makers of what we all refer to as "orgasm tacos." I bet you can figure out why we call 'em that.



Modelos for the men and Blue Moons for the womens and metrosexuals.



This is the invoice for AJ's birthday cake. If the writing's too small to read, they wrote: "What a story Mark! (AJ's favorite line from The Room) Happy Birthday AJ" and then in parenthesis they wrote (no periods in AJ) to let them know to write AJ and not A.J.



Pardon my french but the folks at Safeway are some silly billies.



I hope you had a good one AJ. You're like a brother to me.

It's my best friend AJ's birthday today.
Happy Birthday AJ, I hid a secret message in the picture, try to see if you can figure it out.

Every Monday I need a good song to help me start the week off right and Music Monday's do that for me. Here's one you probably haven't heard before.

If anybody would like to suggest a song I should use for Music Monday feel free to let me know either through twitter or by email.

Today was a "Johnnie Walker by the outdoor fireplace" type of Sunday.

We had to frame it. This could be the beginning of something. I might start selling a few prints here and there. Hmmmmm.



RARE ART.

I'm gonna frame this one. I call it, "Some Beer, Malt Liquor and the Redneck and Cholo fuel known as 4Loko."

Meet me and AJ's childhood friend, Hockmed.

Today I took my talents to the California Academy of Sciences. You guys don't read what I write on here so just enjoy the pictures and if you live in the Bay Area I recommend taking the time to check this place out, it's awesome.



Big body, little arms.



This is the skeleton of a blue whale, biggest mammal in the world. Look how big it is compared to that fat lady walking under it.





I poked the starfish so hard. The tide pool exhibit lady didn't like that.



I bought one of these tanks for my room. The jellyfish cost extra so I only bought two. Just kidding about the whole thing, or am I?





This giant bass is like a hundred years old and about the size of a chubby 4th grader.





There was a big window at the end of this long hallway and we saw a bunch of people crowding around it so we walked over there and saw...



the stars of Mr Poppers Penguins!



and last but not least we headed over to the planetarium for the last show before the place closed:

It's Music Monday and you're all probably tired of hearing about "Watch The Throne" but I can't stop talking about it or listening to it. I thought I'd never see this Kanye again after all the weird sad and Taylor Swift stuff the other Kanye had been doing before this.

The Yeezy I'm a fan of is back and this video is proof.



(Aziz Ansari's cameo wins.)

"Anyone who really knows me knows how happy I am right now." -Homeless person who found a piece of uneaten chicken in the trash

I went and bought myself another toy and I realized this lens makes everything look cool. I know that's what I always say when I buy a new lens but this time I mean it. Really I mean it.

Looks like that bottle of water is comin' right at ya. Go ahead and grab it. Ha it's just your screen.



Makes lunch look even more delicious.



Makes everyone's favorite dog look even cuddly-er-er.

Feels like history in the making. I bought this as soon as I woke up yesterday with itunes money I got for my birthday.

Worth every red penny.

What up two times. I've been away from my pretties for a bit due to my busy schedule and the fact that it was my birthday this weekend. You already know I documented the party so I could share it with you all.

I wanna send a big thank you to everyone who made it. Wendy thanks for all the surprises, Mom and Dad thanks for the Taco Man. Gurpreet thanks for the card, what you wrote was dope, AJ thanks for the gift of good Music and expensive cigars, Rodney you were the life of the party, Nav and Mike thanks for the gallon of Black Label, y'all my peoples. Everyone else you know who you are and you know if you ever need anything I got you.

Music Monday

Yeezy looks hilarious as an old man.